Dear Waterloo Road Readers,
Thank you so much for journeying with me and a special thank you to all my paid subscribers I’m grateful you want to invest in my writing! I didn’t want to post this at all out of fear of offending, hurting, or putting anyone off. However, I do want to describe the experience of transition as it has developed in my life honestly… even if it is uncomfortable to some. I am so thankful for every chapter of my life as it has shaped who I am today. My hope is this piece serves as not a point of contention or condemnation but of inquiry into a new perspective.
I’m embarrassed to admit that I watch the same 10 movies incessantly. I’ve been doing this since the age of 12, which I heard is some form of self-soothing for anxiety but I will spare you the details of my American propensity to self-diagnose. One of the movies fortunate enough to make it into my beloved collection happens to be The Matrix. This series is a defining one in my life, one of many in the sci-fi fantasy genre that my mother, a self-professed trekky, raised me on.
Up late one evening, the urge to watch one of The Matrix films slowly made its way to my consciousness. As I opened my laptop, I wondered why I never downloaded the third Matrix film. I never once questioned why it was left out.
I watched as the Matrix 3 downloaded into my theatrical support group and as the film began I soon realized why it was unconsciously avoided.
In the film's opening scene, Neo finds himself alone in a train station called Mobil Ave (an anagram for Limbo). Lying down confused and helpless on the floor a young girl named Sati comes to his side to whisper,
“Good morning. Are you lost Neo?”
Sati and her family begin to warn of the dangers of this place as Neo slowly picks himself off the floor. He is trapped in a space between the machine world and the matrix — a no man's land, a place with no way out.
Neo is unfazed by Rama, Sati’s father's warning as he’s amassed the confidence of a god. The first two films depict Neo as a powerful messiah-like figure so this was just another obstacle that he could bend and shift his way out of. As the train pulls in to pick up Rama, his wife Kamala, and his daughter Sati, a determined Neo follows behind. The trainman obstructs his attempt to enter and Neo still wearing the arrogance of his previous self warns that he better let him on or else. The trainman quickly thrusts Neo into the tiled station’s wall leaving him battered and bruised on the ground as he yells, “Down here, I’m God!”
Neo, the hero of the human race was defeated. The man who did what no other human could, flying high above the clouds like Superman in an instant whittled down to a hopeless, powerless state. Uncomfortably, we watch someone be built up so high — suddenly fall flat.
As I watched this scene it felt like a perfect metaphor for one’s spiritual transformation.
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